Six Sentence Sunday – 3/4/12

Today is #sixsunday where writers share six sentences from their work. I’ll share a snippet from my time-travel romance WIP tentatively titled MUST LOVE BREECHES. I will be returning from the FF&P Fantasy on the Bayou Conference on Sunday, so will be a little later in the day visiting everyone. UPDATE: Just found out I finaled in the WRWDC Chapter’s Marlene Contest in the paranormal category!

Here’s my new pitch/logline: When a thoroughly modern girl finds herself stranded in 1834 London, she must find a way home while navigating the pitfalls of London society, resisting her attraction to a hunky lord, and ultimately having to decide when her true home lies.  (You can see the other entries here.)

This is from Isabelle’s POV, and she and Lord Montagu are in a curricle (a type of carriage) heading to Hyde Park. She’s only been back in time for two days and he’s just called on her to ask her to go on this ride with him:

Twenty minutes later, Isabelle clutched the edge of her seat as Lord Montagu’s curricle rattled alongside all the other stylish carriages that crammed Rotten Row in Hyde Park. Elegantly dressed women mingled along the lane strolling, or talking in small groups; men and women trotted on horses; and, to Isabelle’s astonishment, tradespeople and servants lined the edges here and there, staring and pointing. It was as if the promenaders formed a parade for the less fortunate to gawk at. And the way the promenaders behaved—strutting, gossiping with others they met on their amble—it reminded Isabelle of the practice of cruising with cars that used to be popular. She stifled a giggle when they passed a group of garishly dressed men in their early twenties—real live fops! They looked pleased with themselves.

As always I welcome constructive feedback. Thank you!

To see snippets from others who are participating or to sign up yourself, visit here. Other participants writing time travel: Gayle Ramage, Sandra Jones and Maria-Claire Payne

Thank you to everyone who comes by and comments each week! Have a great Sunday!

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43 Comments

  1. Jennifer Lowery

     /  March 4, 2012

    Fun voice in your six! Very nice! Love the title, too!

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  2. What a great scene! Very descriptive.

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  3. Great six, Angela… Loved the description.

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  4. Cruising…sigh. That put me right back in high school. 🙂 great six!

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  5. I loved your description. Great six 🙂

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  6. Enjoyed the description. This sounds like you had a lot of fun writing it. Nice job.

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  7. I could picture the day, the horses, the fops and the trades people lining the promenade. Well done!

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  8. LOL! Cruising — some things never change! Very fun six.

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  9. This is great world-building. The comparison to cruising is great. The amusement lends to the great tone you already provided!

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  10. I can see it! And I love how you draw a parallel to a more modern incarnation.

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  11. You packed a lot into those six sentences! Great description!

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  12. Love this snippet. This whole book seems like such fun. And I agree–you packed a lot into those sentences. Consider me impressed! Congrats on the final!

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  13. Cruising with cars that “used to be” popular — she can;t get her head around any of this, can she? Great snippet!

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  14. I loved the description and the narrative voice. This seems like a really fun story.

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  15. “Real live fops!” I love this story so, so much. It really brings the period to life!

    And . . . am I wrong, or does the Regency era remind anyone else of the nineteeneighties?

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  16. That is so cool – parading for the amusement of the lower classes – well they don’t get much of that do they? Yeah it is sort of like when guys would cruise down mainstreet in all their hoped for glory – excellent snippet!

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  17. Great scene setting! I like “real live fops!” — I can feel her amusement. I did wonder how the curricle feels. Is it fast, rough? Scary? Or sedate? Her point of comparison would be, what, a carriage ride in Central Park? 😉

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  18. Great comparison to modern-day cruising. And congratulations on being a finalist. 🙂 Fingers crossed for you.

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  19. Great scene with excellent description.

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  20. I liked the description of the past from the future’s eyes. Nicely written six, Angela. 🙂

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  21. Monica Enderle Pierce

     /  March 4, 2012

    I can see this scene so clearly and love her astonishment at the promenade. Terrific six, Angela!

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  22. Of got the scene in my mind!! Very nice, great 6!!

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  23. Lovely description. Bravo! On the Marlenes, too. 🙂

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  24. Amazing how some things never change no matter how many years have past. A great six! 🙂

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  25. Enjoyed the description. By the way, I’m here. Don’t know why my link was removed.

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  26. Kelly

     /  March 4, 2012

    Great six! I look forward to next weeks!

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  27. Love how you did the descriptions as well. real live fops..lol. brilliant six. Oh ,your book sounds like a blast, Angela.

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  28. Very fun six and great description. Congrats on the final!

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  29. Nicely described scene 🙂

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  30. Ooh, I love time travel stories—especially love having an unfamiliar, bygone era filtered through a modern lens I can relate to. Hope you’ll be posting more from this story in future SSS posts!

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  31. Great imagery!

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  32. You paint a marvelous picture in juxtaposition of what she knows from her own time. Quite good!

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  33. It’s so easy to *see* this. Excellent job!

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  34. I really need to read this. Every excerpt has been amazing!

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  35. In six sentances you managed to convey a perfect image with your comparison! I love your comparison too 🙂

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  36. So descriptive! Loved the comparison to “cruising”! Nice six!

    Amy Durham

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  37. Now I want to see some real, live fops!

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  38. Excellent visuals! I laughed at the fops 🙂

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  39. Cruising comment caught my eye! Lovely Six

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  40. I love the scene you’ve painted in here. Great six, Angela, and a huge congratulations on placing!!

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  41. I love this scene. I can really see what is going on in that park! Terrific job!

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  42. gayleramage

     /  March 6, 2012

    Loving the snippet! Marvellous descriptions, too!

    (There’s a bit in our village/town called ‘The Row’ but apparently used to be called ‘Rotten Row’ – no wonder they changed the name, lol!)

    Reply

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