Weekend Writing Warriors – 9/29/13

www_bannerWelcome to Weekend Writing Warriors! For those new to this, fellow writers post eight sentences from one of our works. I’ve been revising my New Adult steampunk romance, STEAM ME UP RAWLEY, so I thought I’d share and give the next eight sentences following last week’s (which was the beginning) where the heroine is at a fancy outdoor party, talking to her pet monkey and a woman catches her.

Adele spun around, Loki deftly remaining on her shoulder. “Claire, how are you? Enjoying your party?” As the Mobile Register’s society reporter, Adele was there to cover Claire Chastang’s tiresome gathering.

Oh, how to describe the party’s hostess? Without sounding scornful? What Adele wanted to write for her society column would not do:

Miss Claire was resplendent (resplendently tacky) in her tailored aerophane silk day dress, sporting lace trim and silk flowers reminiscent of an explosion at a haberdasher’s.

I welcome all comments, even constructive crits. To join in the fun and see the other wonderful writers, go to Weekend Writing Warriors! Thanks for stopping by!

UPDATE: I forgot to mention earlier that I’m looking for Beta readers for this story, so let me know if you’re interested!

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32 Comments

  1. I’d want to read that column! 😉 Thanks for sharing.

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  2. It’s pretty apparent she is not fond of Claire. This little eight made me smile : )

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  3. burnsmillie

     /  September 29, 2013

    These eight made me smile. I can feel her disdain come through loud and clear!

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  4. Cute how Adele is caught talking to her monkey. Interesting 8!

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  5. historysleuth1

     /  September 29, 2013

    Oh God, the last line is perfect. What a great description! Your snippet so grasped the whole society page mindset. Nice.

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  6. I like the description she can’t actually write, very colorful and the feelings shine through for sure! I really enjoy this story, even in tiny snippets – MOAR, please! Great 8!

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  7. This is great fun! And what a great way to describe something, using her thoughts. 🙂

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  8. Can’t help really laughing out loud at this! Your sense of humor works so well in this story Angela. I like the implied tension between these characters too 😀

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  9. I enjoyed the build up to the last line and it certainly paid off. Well done.

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  10. Great 8! I tweeted!

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  11. Love this!

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  12. I’m sure Adele won’t write what she is thinking, pity. I doubt she’s the only one who views Clare in such a manner

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  13. “…reminiscent of an explosion at a haberdasher’s.” I love this line! Oh, and I used to work in customer service — I could write a book about the things I didn’t say but wanted to — I SOO feel for Adele…

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  14. evelynjules

     /  September 29, 2013

    Hee! She sounds resplendently tacky. 😀 Fun, well-described eight, Angela!

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  15. Love the sarcasm! Great snippet! Good luck with your revisions!

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  16. oddlynn3

     /  September 29, 2013

    This makes me laugh out loud! I can so see this happening and really, wish it had in some cases. Just love the whole concept. Great 8. Thanks for sharing.

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  17. Very funny. A lot of good stuff packed into this 8. Well done.

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  18. And what she probably wanted to say was that Loki was the better conversationalist.

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  19. Does Claire have to be nice to Adele, or vice versa?

    And what is aerophane silk? I can’t decide whether it’s a lovely word for parachute silk or this world’s version of polyester . . .

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  20. I adore the snarky description of the hostess’ dress. Sounds… colorful and energetic. She’ll need some luck and self-restraint to write that column.

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  21. I absolutely love this! Sounds like something I’d say. lol.

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  22. “…reminiscent of an explosion at a haberdasher’s…” made me LOL. Gr8t!

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  23. Heh – I think I’d love to read the article written like that

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  24. Funny and so true when you get to listen in on the private thoughts. Good eight.

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  25. I like the explosion at the haberdasher’s!
    Nice snippet.

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  26. I’m sure Adele would prefer to be anywhere but at Claire’s party.

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  27. Kate Meader

     /  September 29, 2013

    Great humor, Angela, as always! Really shows Adele’s character.

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  28. Got a chuckle. Loved that last line! Great 8!

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  29. Fantastic description of the clothes. I am shuddering. LOL

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  30. I love her description there.

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  1. Weekend Writing Warriors – 10/6/13 | Angela Quarles | Geek girl romance writer

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