Weekend Writing Warriors – 10/6/13

www_bannerWelcome to Weekend Writing Warriors! For those new to this, fellow writers post eight sentences from one of our works. I’ve been revising my New Adult steampunk romance, STEAM ME UP RAWLEY, so I thought I’d share and give the next eight sentences following last week’s where the heroine (Adele) is at a fancy outdoor party, talking to her pet monkey and Claire catches her. Adele has just asked her how she’s liking her party:

Claire stepped forward, her genetically modified parakeet on her shoulder exactly matching the brown locks of her elaborate hairdo. “It’s all right,” she replied in a voice that said it was anything but—after all, she mustn’t look too pleased. From between Claire’s shoulder blades, a lightweight brass bar curved up and outward, topped by a frilly parasol in the same shade as her dress: mustard yellow. So, Claire had adopted the latest fad—typical. A slight hum sounded as the parasol shifted to block the sun.

Adele would never go under the knife for such frivolous enhancements, even if it was how her father made his living. Who cared about keeping up with Claire’s ilk? Adele never had much interest in hobnobbing with Mobile’s best families, though the four tattoos vertically aligned on her neck, each denoting her grandparents’ families, would place her at such a party even without her official role here as the society reporter.

I welcome all comments, even constructive crits. To join in the fun and see the other wonderful writers, go to Weekend Writing Warriors! Thanks for stopping by!

I’m looking for Beta readers for this story, so let me know if you’re interested!

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19 Comments

  1. So much great info in only 8 sentences. Well done, Angela!

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  2. Claire and Adele doesn’t seem to like each other so much. I wonder why.

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  3. Wonderful rich detail.

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  4. Lot’s of information, and it flows without feeling forced. Your descriptions always do a thorough job of painting the scene, Angela! 🙂

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  5. I love all the details in this passage. It really brings the scene and their world alive.

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  6. Adele seems to have such disdain for Claire and those like her. I’m curious to know why, especially as she seems to belong in the same social sphere. I’m looking forward to learning more.

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  7. Built-in parasols – interesting!

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  8. asfenichel

     /  October 6, 2013

    I’m so curious about this world you’ve created. Great job.

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  9. Interesting combination of scientific advances and silly uses of them. Is Loki a natural monkey, or is he genetically modified too?

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  10. It sounds like a super interesting world.

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  11. A fascinating world, really enjoying all the details so much I don’t actually care why Clare and Adele don’t like each other LOL. Great snippet!

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  12. Weird and I love it. 🙂 So interesting. Great 8.

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  13. I like the tattoos, the cybermods, and the evil-ish Claire—another winner, Angela. 😀

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  14. A strange world indeed. I would assume Loki is a natural monkey hence some of the animosity between the two. Adele strikes me as a rebel and added to that she has a job which I bet Clare does not. Or am I totally off base??

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  15. These ladies are a lot of fun. You’ve got a wonderfully developed world here, Angela. I’ll be back next time for sure 🙂

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  16. theeternalscribe

     /  October 7, 2013

    Interesting creativity with regard to the weirdness and fads.

    Reply
  17. Some very intriguing worldbuilding in those eight.

    Reply
  1. Weekend Writing Warriors – 10/13/13 | Angela Quarles | Geek girl romance writer

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